Can You Hear It?

Silence
Piercing silence
Running like a freight train through my head
Through my veins
Let it out
Screaming
Cutting
Burning
Beating
Punching
Can't sleep
So tired
Exhaustion
Squeeze eyes shut
Drown it out
Bring it out
Take it out
It's not out

Prisoner

In the cell block of my heart
The cold gritty walls of my mind
I lament my loneliness
Loathe myself
Beat my head against the walls
Reach through the bars towards the light
Devastated by your abandonment
But still comforted my the shadow of your existence
I've forgotten how long I've been here
You've forgotten me all together
My demise is evident
Perhaps I will be saved
Delivered from this pit
But until then
I will be sitting here
Waiting for the day I die

Marionette

Forgotten
Hollow and dangling
Hanging by a few strings
Wooden smile
Staring with blank eyes
Once lively with the feeling of existence
But now forgotten and lonely
Tattered limbs falling from their joints
Grasping to a thread
The old string gives way
Falling
Tangled body lies
Lifeless and hollow
The blank stare, the wooden smile, the tattered limbs
Heaped and mangled on the floor

Hold You

Let me hold you in my arms
Let me embrace you lovingly
Cry on my shoulder
Take my hand
I want to show you that I care

Come to me
Let me hold you
Let me dry your tears
Give me your hand
Let me show you that I care

From the red lines flow my broken heart

Again
I swipe it across
Red oozes from the lines
Again
Watch the red flow
It came from my heart
Again
Deep and dark
It comes no more
Again
Squeezing between the slit
It runs down, cold
Again
Watch
Again
Without flinching
Again
No emotion
Again
These are real tears

So Sorry

I'm sorry I love you
I'm sorry I care
I'm sorry I can never be good enough
I'm sorry I have to hate myself
I'm sorry you wouldn't miss me if I died
I'm sorry we can't be friends
I'm sorry if I leave a mess when I go
I'm sorry I loved you

Forever

Sorrow boils inside
It wants to surface
I choke it down
It tears from inside
Ripping me to shreds
My heart is hard and heavy like cold iron
Forget me when I am put in the ground
Spit on the dirt above me
Scratch out the name on my gravestone
I will rot away
Forever I will be hollow
Forever my heart will be chisled from stone
Forever I will be alone
Forever...

Broken

Broken spirit, broken wings
Soul cold like stone
Calloused heart is nothing to desire
I hear your voice, my heart seethes with hatred
I fall, you laugh
I reach out my hand for help, you break my arm
Tears stream from salty eyes
I plead for help
You push me down
I am worthless

Push

When you leave me
In my solitude
My anger boils
You try to put your arms around me to comfort me
But when your comforting me
You know your trying to ease your conscience
I push you away
This wall of distrust
It is too strong for you to break through
And too tall for you to climb

Words

Words left there to linger. Piercing darts stuck in a colapsing heart. Joy is fading, hope dying. Predator oblivious to the pain inflicted upon the victim. Tears stain. Words, a powerful weapon, the poison dwells long afterwards. Rarely forgotten. Left stranded to choke on them. Always uphill, with no encouragement. Killing words are more powerful than uplifting ones. Flames spewing out before actions even given a thought. Contaminated soul. Give in to the temptation, you, with the heart of stone. Your hands will choke, your hands will reduce me to dust left to blow in the wind. I will be forgotten. My shallow grave will reflect your darkness. I see you struggle to utter a kind word. If you will not finish me, I will do it myself. Even as I braid the rope for my noose, you torment me. You are the trigger I will pull, you are the knife that cuts.

You Killed Me

You are doing this to me
Ripping, tearing me apart
Piece by Piece
There will be nothing left
You are doing this to me
Putting me down
Until I pound my head
Thinking of a better way
To choke my neck
You are doing this to me
I try to share myself with you
But you don't care
You shrug off my sorrow and weeping
You laugh at my thoughts
You are doing this to me
Killing me with your words
Why am I not dead yet?
Why can't I just leave this world?
My pain is nothing to you
You are doing this to me
I am shattered, broken
Lying at your feet
You still kick me
Then you act as if nothing has happened
You are doing this to me
It seems I am always doing something wrong
There is not a time in my life when someone is not pissed at me
Do I deserve this?
Do you enjoy this?
Do you like seeing my pain?
Do you delight in seeing me fail?
You are doing this to me

Void

There is a deep void inside me
I am dead inside
I am hollow
I am empty
It is too deep and dark to fill
It boils from within
It churns and eats away at me
Like a disease
Like an acid
It fights to surface
But I cover it up
I have many masks
I have many charades
No one sees me
All they see is the masks
The inside is too ugly to see
I am happy
But I feel sad
I am joyful
But I feel sorrow
I am only smiling on the outside
I am only laughing on the outside

Diary of Self-Destruction part 01

He picks up the gun. Heavy, cold, dead, in his hand. He takes the bullet, looks at it, a shining cylinder, sharpened to a blunt, emotionless point. Glinting slightly in the dim light the bullet is loaded into the gun. He grasps it with both hands and slowly lifts it, putting the barrel into his mouth. He looks with a blank stare into space. With the gun, cold and hard between his teeth, he blinks, tightens the grip on the rough handle, and closes his eyes. Then slowly, steadily pulls the trigger.