Tuesday, November 29, 2005

My Cancer is not Physical

All the countless times I've tried
To will out the sickness
Beat out the illness
That has plagued me
The blood of unforgetfulness
Keeps pounding against my skull
The screams of the orchestra
And whines of voices swirl endlessly
Sweet dreams but hold tight
Sweeter screams tears the grip
Bled out to purge myself of this
I am host to this parasite
A disease to me; to others surrounding
My cancer is not physical but eats away at me still
You might have been the antidote
But slipped away

Now it Becomes

When you come to realize
I'll still be sitting here
Holding my head full of glass
I hope you'll find me if you look
And with you sweep up my heart
Spread across the floor like broken glass
I'll try my best to be where you left me
I'll try not to pass the time
By splitting my veins with the broken glass
It's still hard
Waiting this long
Trying not to breathe in this air full of broken glass
These pools around me
Mirror back emptied eyes
Every tear that falls is like a shard of broken glass

Division + Subtraction = Addition

Come. Let's see what our minds
Are made of
And what holds can be broken
We can hide where everyone will find us
Cover our eyes until the stars rain on us
We'll peel our skin off
And scream at the veins to push harder
Break our back just to have an excuse
The groan of the opening of our chests
Will quiet our cries for more
As our bonds melt away

Hate is Too Much Work

What is it that you want?
What is it that I can give you?
Your hand, your stare brings so much pain
You say you're blind
You say the darkness pushes in all around you
But the only darkness you see
Is the back of your eyelids
You feel the pain from your own blade
But blame it on everyone else
We all kill ourselves eventually
It's not your place to sell tickets
Sweet dreams
As they say in Hell
"A martyr is when you die for something
That is not of yourself"

Drowning for the Last Time

Drowning without someone to watch
Gasping for air
With only myself to pull me further
You may not know
I was about to jump in
While you were there
Only because you wouldn't hold me hand
I never told you
But I always had a feeling
That you could read me like a book

Slipping through
I am here now
I can almost feel myself separating
I still cant see anyone through the rippling surface

Too Late

Maybe if you accually were here
I wouldn't have to reach into the shadows you left
Too late to call
I wont be going anywhere
I was shattered when you said what you did
Far too late to call
There were so many lines written for you
But the pieces of me could never catch you
You were a true rarity
A dose of something I'd never had before
Previous attempts were to no avail
I had so much to tell you
But I knew my cowardice and shamefulness were to
Always overcome
A governor like you kept the knife in the drawer
But it was always (much) too late to call