Monday, June 27, 2005

Hide

Turn your face away
I cant turn mine
I wont
I know you wont save
No longer protected
I used to be safe from myself
A flame will never grow
Without something to fuel it
Nothing will burn
Until the flame comes to eat it
I guess I will diminish
Like a wave

Slow
Build
Grow
Climb
Peak
Crash
Implode

Empty

Save Some Time

Yes, I know perfectly well
That the end is perfect
The end is impending
But lets not encroach upon it
Finding something meaningless
Could be a lifetime achievement
Only like cancer,
By the time you succeed
And surpassed
Your life is over

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Something Obvious

You might just have to
SHUT IT
SHOVE IT
TAKE IT
Bleed it
With everything I wish
More
But it STINGS
It rings
It hurts
But maybe if I was
GOOD ENOUGH
I might survive in your eyes
You might not have to
Gouge me you of your HEART AGAIN
Perhaps it is something you cant help
But I think I would sure love for you to try

Someone

Break me up
Sweep it away

Tear me apart
Throw it out

Melt me down
Pour it through

Raise me up
Drop it

Heal me
Kill me

Steal me
Steal it
Take it
Take it

But not before
You break it

Thursday, June 23, 2005

This Time

I thought I saw your face
Among the crowds of the
Invisible
Calmly babbling, loud

I've been hoping a little
But like a candle

Darkness has a way of befriending me
Even though my wrists are bloody and tattered
I can still feel my heart stop
Ill twist and turn
Writhe while i let you sleep
Because soon you will see me
Sleeping

Sleep for the rest
Sleep and rest
For all that is nothing
Bathed in my sweet blanket of darkness
Never awaking

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Abandon

I just wanted to say CRUSH
Because I don't think SHIT
I hope your not too KILL
(I don't really care)
Do you know what I mean? SLASH
HUSH HUSH hush... I guess this might be a little TOO MUCH
Just wait
don't leave STOP
I want to fix SHOVE
BURN burn... burn...

Monday, June 20, 2005

Entrance

Come on in
I'll show you around
I'll throw you around

There couldn't be a better time
Embrace me
Chase me

The darkness brings increasingly more, increasingly less
Plead with me
Bleed with me

Just KILL with every...
I breathe
I seethe

Saturday, June 18, 2005

I Can No Longer Trust

Take it
Away
And keep it
Away
I dont want this anymore
I dont need it anymore
Take it
Drown it
Choke it
Kill it
Burn it
Bury it
I hate it
I run away
It could take a small price
It could hurt just a little
It is too much pain
It is so much pain

Wait...
Please
Give it back to me
I love it
I need it
I need it
I need it

Burial

Shaking
Crying
Just where you left me
Just like you dropped me
Stopped me
Wrecked
Pieces
Lying in a pool of blood
Apparently obsolete
Time creeps
The sun burns
The moon swallows
Tide creeps
But don't you worry
I will be here
I have found a way to drown
My casing will turn to stone; to dust
My tears will run down; pool to glass
My blood will seep; soil gives birth to dark, dark roses

Friday, June 17, 2005

Take me home

It's been quite a while. I feel starved. I hope that it is my fault. Just say something, I feel beaten. I wish I knew if I was supposed to say something, and then what to say. The shadow of your presence weakens me after so long. To see the light of your eyes would breath such new life into me. I might see it sometime. I hope. Unless you have finally started to hate me, which is probable. I would encourage it if you were not such a light to my darkness. As if I hunger, I will wait.

I will wait.

Sincerely: ....

Removal

Shhh...
I hear it
Pumping
Thrusting that precious liquid
I'm sure you need it
But I've been depleted for so long now
Look...
I can see it
Running through
Showing through
Held down by only
Smooth skin
Wrapped like cellophane
Wait...
So much more than this
Blood and movement
Is only a part of the shell
Perhaps I could help
Excoriate this
Stay calm...
I have done it, myself
It might take a while
But so beautiful under all of this
Couldn't let this
Go to waste,
Come to an end
Wake up...
You can now feel
Closer,
Come closer
Can you see this?
I hope you can now see me
Together, without shells

Thursday, June 16, 2005

A Telephone Message Received, Re-received

I (want to) hate (love) you.
You are (mine) the infectious waste
(But) corrupting (your burning me alive) my purest
Skillful hypnotic
Ripping stain (remove myself from you)
Eaten away toxicity
I'll scratch (help) you out eventually (maybe)
I'll burn you (take you) away (from this) eventually
Necrosis (this might) could help eradicate
Insomniacs (I have) do not have this lullaby (to share)
If I (you would) listen, it (could help) deafens me to bleeding

But you see, (your behavior) symbiotic coexistence
Can only result in another fatality

Don't forgive, until no longer
I will no longer vindicate malignancy
I really wish I could (refrain from) steal away your happiness (resorting to)
(Murderous feelings withheld) I still think I could kill you
(Could) cleanse yourself of this, strength
This is my time to strike (leave)
So long, I wish you a hopeful end to this (beginning)

Monday, June 13, 2005

Leave

Hope could be something to look for
Apathy comes naturally to some
Hell's avididty is such a shame
But you might be disapointed
I've changed my mind
Perhaps I could change yours
You will find
That I'm not so sanitary
As some say
As a normal glance will tell

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Yet another hole

Broken arms
Wrists are no longer smooth
Mannequin face
Black box
Black ribbon
Black tissue paper, chest
A coffin is all I need
Or a crate
I'll even dig my own hole
Good and deep
Fill it with concrete
And plant grass over so no one remembers
I'll be perfectly fine down here
Besides its nice and cold
Just the way I like it
No different than the way you've treated me

Scalpel

Carve me up
Like I've always wanted
There's still room for you to decide
It freezes the knife to your hand
Once an incision is slit into my chest
Trim away the dead
Throw away the excess
Wipe away the frost
Blood smile and bright deep heart
Diligently
Slow
Careful
It's nice and warm now
Circle dark eyes
Tears bleed down to the white sheets
Eyes are empty but bright

Stop

Raise high
Above your head
Glinting steel
Blade sharp as betrayal
"This hurts me more that it will hurt you"

Then

Plunge plunge plunge
Stab
Rip it all out
Thrust
Submerge until spurting
A gaping hole leaves room for you to decide
"It's all for the greater good"
Throw away to rot with the rest

Thursday, June 02, 2005

From Days

I could always delay
I can't delay the fever
This time
This time it is different
Sweating glances
Blood pools together
Eating away
Making me feel
Dissected
Don't worry
Its not as bad as it sounds
(Its worse)
Postponed thoughts always surface
Break out in cold sweat
Feverish chilling
Someone could say something
But your not helping much

Start the Dance

What did you think you were doing to him?
Warming a cool brain 'till the fog appears
Keep it all together
Walk away
You'll find it hard to medicate
Somehow
I always wake up with blood on my hands
I was only sleeping until I heard your voice
Sometimes I trust like a dog
Sometimes I trust like a cop
My search had been ended
Long before you were aware of its beginning
Out of my hands
Killing hands
Reversal
Rehearsal
Just tell me the movements, honey
I could recite from now on

You know you have to eat It

Strings like lines
Connects everything to everything
A string snaps leave a gaping hole, black
There will probably never be a doctor here
Paramedic or nurse
Even though its all I need, all that will come is the coroner
Sane witnesses never see
I have no faith in
Amputees never stop complaining
Just cut it all off
Cut it all out
I've never seen anything like it
Never hear with ears cut off
Euthanasia surgery with an axe sympathetic hatred
Tied down straight jacket Hell
Leather straps and padded walls stench of piss
Chains, electroconvulsive, pills
Empty, dank, echo
Healthy screams clear your throat
Screams rip out your circuitry
But let others know