Monday, June 12, 2006

Weight

I'm sorry I came to you with a broken heart
Just a drunk, lonely and beaten
So confused and tired of life
I don't have to be a burden
There are ways to fix that
I fear my black heart could infect yours
I'm sure this isn't what you had in mind
When all this started
Should have kept it all inside
Like I had gotten so used to doing
My past. It'll break your back
It broke mine

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Tell Me

Tell me you will never leave me
I know you will
But it will help me get through the day

Tell me you will never hate me
I know it's going to happen
But it will help me sleep tonight

Tell me you don't want me to hurt myself anymore
I will once you are gone
But I want someone to check my wrists for new scars

Tell me you love me
Because I've never heard it before

Insomnia Again

Seeing things again
Hearing things
Again
I see myself
Loading that gun
Over and over
I see you
Walking away
To never return
This insanity
That agony
Returning once again
I hate for you to go through this with me
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'll just tie myself to these railroad tracks

Healing Hands

You've warmed my heart
Just enough to let it bleed
The chunk of ice that was my heart
I've still kept through all these years
Now, in your hands it starts to push blood again
Entrusted to you, just don't break it
Because I wont be conscious enough to clean up the blood
If you do
You just wont see any tears
Because they have all been taken

Again

You'll kill me before I can
you'll suck the soul right out of me
Before I could carve it out

No more no more
You know she will
Make you feel

But she is so beautiful
With her words
So harsh and real

The way, just the way
I had feared
But the only way
It could be

Love Lost

I see that blade, now
My sweet, resting
Stained from the tears of my soul
Seems so long ago
It lies there, betrayed
I cant pick it up again
To touch its rigid cold
Could fling me back
To where I came from
It brought me so much
Made me realize
Gave me comfort through pain
Shown me that I could still live
But without it, my wrists are clean
Bring me back to where I came from
My sweet, tool of torture

Sleep

So little sleep
I cant keep my eyes shut
Does it show
Look at me; listen to me
Watch; listen
To what I have said
I CAN SHOW YOU
Against the palm of my hand
My fingers grasp tighter
I cough
I choke
I convulse
No more
Sleep, without dream
Finally

The Curtain Falls

All is over
The curtain has fallen
Time to go home
Time is up
The light has been put out
Along with every thing
I know
Last time you looked
There was so much sand left in the glass
This is the part of the show
When you all laugh
Just laugh
With my feet off the floor
Just laugh

Search

Looking for you is all I have left
This pen
That blade
The drink
They once allowed me to forget
But they hold nothing for me now
All that fucking ink I wasted
All those cigarettes I smoked
I know I was just praying for cancer
I just wait
Hoping for a time when I can love you
As much as I hate myself
Too many tears, I have no more
So much blood, not a drop left

Both Thought

Thanks but no thanks
I'll just keep guessing
I'll just draw you differently
Next time
You'll miss me
We'll miss each other I know
(HAHAHAHAHA)
But haven't we had enough
Of the feeling sorry bullshit?
I've had enough of your
False sincerity that kept choking
Don't you lie to me
I can be just as unpredictable
Wait here I'll be right back
Would you like to see my new gun?

The Game

Attack, evade, defend
Step forward, step back
Look, look away
The match has been called
A stalemate, a draw
This game of emotional chess
No one wins, no one loses
It was always such a fucking game with you
That shield of bullshit
Kept everyone back
It has long since been over
But I still suffer the heavy losses
A battle of hearts
Though I only had spades
My pawns always melted away
Queen takes king...
Checkmate

Medicated

Listen to my loss of memory
Listen to the sounds that I hear
That I translate for you
Pull on my legs
I have been burden to this tree
Far too long
Choke me harder
Choke me as much as it takes
Were all just so goddamn medicated
aren't we
I would rather die a real death
Than live a fake life